Brigitte is one of those women who lights up a room the moment she enters it. There is a light that radiates from within; that enviable combination of fun and cool was a match made in heaven when she started out on her career as a journalist for TV3.
Now a mother to Delilah and Violette, Brigitte shares the devastating loss of their son, a baby boy named Jude who was still born at six months into her second pregnancy. We are grateful to Brigitte for sharing her story with us and bringing light to a topic which is not talked about enough.
Your journey through motherhood has been one of both imense joy, grief and healing. Will you share a little about your second born, still baby Jude?
Stillborn babies and miscarriages seem to be an elephant in the room. And I really want to speak about them publicly to encourage other women to do the same. The grief impacts so many of us and we shouldn't have to suffer alone. I lost my son at nearly 6 months - and I still grieve for Jude every single day. The grief is never the same, but when I feel it coming on I always sit with my emotion of it, I always acknowledge it and allow it to be, then I always feel more at peace once I have resurfaced.
Personally, I don't find comfort in counselling. I have done a lot of spiritual work through meditation, spiritual psychic readings, yoga and reiki healing to help me move stagnant grief, to help me find peace and (as hard as it is) gratitude for what happened. It has also taught me that my intuition is never wrong. Had I listened to my gut to tell me not to get on a plane to Europe, Jude might be here today.
But then I have to look at my life and look at my two girls and give thanks to my experience, because had I not gone through that, one, I wouldn't have Violette, and two, I wouldn't spend my entire days trying to be the absolute best mum I could be.
I no longer take a single second for granted. And although the days are long, the years are short and even in the hard moments I always find time to be grateful...
What advice or kind words for other mums who have shared a similar experience?
Find an avenue that allows you to move through the grief - facing the grief in your own time and in your own way will allow you to move forward with your life.
Moving forward doesn't mean moving on, and it doesn't mean the pain will go away, it means you can find space to be at ease with your life and live it with unconditional love.
I am still working toward that and I might spend my entire life trying to be a full peace with losing a child but I make a conscious choice every day to ensure I have a positive mindset, for my children, hubby, family, but most importantly, for myself - because after everything I (and you) deserve that above all else..
Tell us about your girls, Delilah and Violette. What makes them laugh, cry or tear each other's hair out (literally haha).
My girls are the perfect yin and yang combination - Delilah is soft, calm, and sensitive and Violette is vibrant, tumultuous, and fearless! Delilah is the introvert who will always 'suss' the room and Violette is the extrovert who commands the room. Delilah is the feminine and Violette is the masculine.
They compliment each other perfectly, each has so much to learn from the other and it's so beautiful to watch them figure out their ways in this crazy world. Although so young, they both offer so much and I can see them having a strong bond for their entire lives.
What traits do you have that you see in your girls?
As a child, I was more like Delilah - introverted, and I still very much am today (not sure why I chose a path in journalist haha) but as I have grown older I've managed to build a lot of strength, which I see in Violette. Strengths that took me 30 years to gain - I see in this tiny body of a 19-month-old. I always wonder what kind of past lives they've had to make them who they are today.
Any words of wisdom for mamas out there who need to take time out for themselves. How do you ensure you’re feeling as good as can be?
If some days you do what you do to survive then that's ok! Always give yourself alone time - whether it's a beach walk, massage, or fitness class. Never loose you in the process of parenthood.
What's the next Saben bag you are wearing and what drew you to this one?
The Bea in Tussock and Python. Another name I thought of for Jude was actually Sage - which is the colour of the bag. I also loved the fierceness of the snakeskin print - when I wear this bag, it makes me feel like the badass / classy mumma I am!
We love that! Every Saben piece should make you feel a combo of badass and classy. Thank you so much for sharing your story with our community.
Brigitte wears Willow in Tan throughout, and her girls are playing with the Milan Baby Bag in Tan.
Spoil them with Saben this Mother's Day - Shop the Mother's Day edit